attitude

Yeah, I'm 17 months. You got somethin' to say 'bout it.

a little poetry for the soul

I'm going to write a longer post soon (I promise), but for now, I don't want my sad post from a few days ago to be the first thing people see when they come to my blog, soooooooo, go here for a great poem. Thanks, Jean!

Hope everyone is having a super Saturday. We slept in (in shifts, of course, 'cause that's what we gotta do) and did some light yardwork. And tonight, after the kiddo's asleep, we are going to watch


The Office, Season 3


Yeeaaaaahhhhhhhh...

the weight of witness

I've just gotten through Kate's most recent post in which she talks about being a witness to our children's lives, in any kind of weather, no matter what, because that's just what we do as parents:

Our purpose is to bear witness for our children. Graceful or clumsy we walk beside them, hold their hands as far as we’re able. Even when we despair in futility at their path, it is our soul’s contract to accompany them.

Liam died last week, after a laborious month of tubes and tests and hoping and doubting and believing and hoping and finally surrendering.

I cannot imagine losing my child and yet I think about the possibility almost daily. What if? What if? What if? I suppose there should be some solace in the fact that so much is, in truth, out of our control, no matter how much we want and yearn and strive to control. This is the weight of witnessing -- joy, for however long we have it in our grasp, and for seeing pain for what it is and has to be.

It's the scales of justice, always lousily lopsided.

:::

The status quo seems to suit us well these days, and we are spending lots of times indoors to avoid the B.L.A.Z.I.N.G sun, which makes for *interesting* times with a toddler. More of that coming soon, as well as tales from my body pump class. O cruelty, thy name is squat.

bsm: who's your daddy?

Well, here we are -- Monday again. As you have seen, I'm having another dry spell with my writing. It's called: Decide To Repaint and Reorganize Your House and Find You Have No Time To Blog. But the house is coming together, and I promise I will post pictures soon. Happy belated Father's Day to all the superdads out there, especially my wonder-husband. Here's our sprinkler-munchkin with a proud papa lookin' on. I'd write more, but I'mwithoutaspacebar (I wonder why), soI'llhavetocheckinlater. As always, for more best shots, go here.




And a more contemplative one that I just love:

i need new tunes...

Can anyone recommend some tunes for my MP3? I am in desperate need of new music for my workouts, which are hard enough on their own without listening to Beyonce a thousand times. Come on, help a sista out...

the sweet spot

We're still "under renovation" here, trying to finish painting the dining room. It's all trimmed in and will likely be rolled tonight. Last week I moved an old table (actually a $15 garage sale find) down to our living room, and fixed it with a few books and a framed photo and our laptop. It's near our front window, so it makes a great desk without looking like a desk, if you know what I mean. But, it is our child's new favorite spot because of the laptop, of course. And with his recent climbing skills, he is nearly able to get up on the chair, if it's pulled out, on his own. If the chair is pushed in, he screams, and sometimes (sometimes), when it's been a long day, I succumb to his powerful persuasive skills because my ears hurt. Here he is, perched and content, and plotting the great space-bar heist. As always, for more BSMs, go here. I'll hopefully return later in the week with more of my inane mundane ramblings.

buh-bye-ee

the friday funnies: the CVL edition

1. All right. You've waited, you've wondered. Here is how my first encounter with the CVL went (about 4 months ago):

CVL (approaches, location: home furnishings department, Marshall's): Well, hello there, cutie pie (to the toddler, of course)

Me: (Nervous stranger giggle/smile/eh-heh)

CVL (getting down to toddler level,at close range, looking my way with a glazed twinkle in her eyes and an oblivious smile plastered on her face): Are you nursing him?

Me (nervously, weirdly): Yes. (Why did I even answer this?)

CVL: I could tell. Yeah, uh hum.

Me: (Nervous stranger giggle/smile/eh-heh)

CVL: I nursed mine for a combination of 8 years...that's why I'm skin and bones, you know. We were on the road a lot, and it was just easy, we would feed them avocados, and I would nurse them.

Me: (Nervous stranger giggle/smile/nod/nervous stranger giggle/nod/eh-heh/avocados, huh?)

CVL: It's so good for them, you know. And, you know, we didn't vaccinate either. You know, it's when the soldiers came back from the war that they started to vaccinate (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, going on to talk about some doctor in the area, blah, blah, blah).

Me: (Nervous stranger giggle/smile/nod/which war?)

CVL: But you know it's really the sugar.

Me: (puzzled and out of polite utterances)

CVL: It's the sugar that introduced all these diseases and created the need for vaccines.

Me: (Nervous stranger giggle/smile/nod/god, I could use a Snicker's)

CVL: Well, let me let you get back to your shopping. What a beautiful boy. Bye. By-eee (high-pitched cooing ensued as she descended to toddler level again).

Me (putting the picture frame down and scanning for the closest, quickest exit): Oh, yes. Thank you. Take care.

Second encounter (last week):

Me (seeing CVL approaching, OMG, is it really her AGAIN?)

CVL (again, in the home furnishings department, Marshalls): Well, what a cute little thing you are (again, to Eli, of course).

Me: (oh no, here she is again, quick, Eli, cry, do SOMETHING)

CVL: Oh, look at his little shoes.

Me: Nervous stranger giggle/smile/nod/she doesn't remember who we are)

CVL: My kids didn't wear shoes...I breastfed them.

Me: Nervous stranger giggle/smile/nod/wow, didn't know breastfeeding eliminated the need for shoes)

CVL: We're vegans. And I used to say to them (reaching down to Eli's feet), are those to-fu's or little fu-ey toes?

Me: Eh-heh (okay, hello...weird, come on, Eli, cry, for the love of God, do SOMETHING)

CVL (looking towards a painted canvas I was backed up against): Oh, that's really nice.

Me. Yes, it is.

CVL: Oh, well, let me let you get back to your shopping. Bye-eee.

Me: Oh, okay. Bye. (okay, hello...weird).

**I feel I should add that I have nothing against the vegan philosophy. Really, I don't. I wish sometimes I could do it. And I've even tried. And, I also should add that I almost NEVER go to Marshalls, so what are the odds that within the span of 5 months, I would see the CVL twice. Weird. The universe is conspiring against me. I'm sure of it. And, yes, I realize, this wasn't as good as I built it up to be. Oh, well. Life is full of disappointments. You'll get over it.

2. This week SD and I have taken to the slightly manic habit of inserting the phrase "do-dah" after many things that we say. For instance,

It's really hot outside. Do-dah.

or

Are you going to take the trash out? Do-dah.

or

Wanna order Chinese? Do-dah.

or

That diaper was a real stinker. Do-dah.

And it's not just any ol' do-dah. It has to be said with conviction -- as in DO-DAH (emphasis on DO). Try it. It definitely makes daily conversation much more exciting, even though you start to question your soundness of mind.

3. Finally, here's our tiny dancer, rockin it' at the pool on Wednesday. Didn't want to swim. Just wanted to dance. Rock on...

atticus has arrived

I don't have the energy to write about Crazy Vegan Lady tonight. I promise, though, that I will before the week is through. And now, because I've built it up so much, I fear it will never be as good as in your fantasies. Oh, well.

I do, though, want to send out congratulations to Brian, Bethany, and new big sister Mia on the birth of baby Atticus, born on June 4, weighing in at a healthy 9 pounds, 6 ounces (same as our "little" Eli).

And, I have to say, I was quite impressed with Bethany who was emailing friends from her hospital bed last night. At that point after Eli was born, I still don't think I was speaking in complete sentences. Go girl.

All the best to you guys, and we'll be in touch soon!

for kate

I haven't referenced Kate and her boys in a while, but I was just catching up on her blog and felt like I wanted to post something for them, even though I have never (and probably will never) meet them and she may never read this. I'm just continually amazed that she can write so much so often so intensely and so beautifully, all while dealing with the emotions of what her family is going through. I'm so drawn to their story and hope and wish and pray -- and whatever else there is to do -- that their outcome will be more positive than their doctors say it will. There's video on her latest post that will take your breath away. She has received so much support on her blog, mostly from people who don't know her personally. It's remarkable to witness, and I can only hope that all the energy/thoughts/prayers/goodness of spirit sent their way will make a difference for little Liam and Ben.

cool waters

Is it Monday already??? My tired, not-fully-caffeinated body tells me it is. Weekend was productive, but not long enough, OF COURSE. We did, however, get our living room painted, and now I have retracted my previous statement to a friend about wanting to BURN THE ENTIRE HOUSE DOWN. I will post photos once we have furniture back in its place and a few pictures on the walls. Gotta get on that. Stat.

Our toddler was CHALLENGING this weekend, to say the least. We have entered the desert of limit-testing. Oh happy day. Here he is blissfully filling his swimming pool with cool waters, some of which also managed to assemble in puddles on our back deck and in our yard. I wonder how that could happen? Challenging, I tell you. For more best shots, go here. And come back later this week for tales of the CVL. You won't want to miss it!

the friday funnies

1. Our living room walls are now trimmed in a beautiful bluish-greenish-grayish hue that, in the morning light pouring in from our eastern-facing windows, looks bright sky blue and horrid next to our sofa's faded green slipcover. SD says at least the conversation we had from 9 pm to 12 am the other night was good, right down to the relationship between barbie dolls and gender equality/inequality in our society (we're deep thinkers, okay). And I say, yeah maybe the next one we have re-painting in a different color will be even better. Worst part: before we decided that the color would not work, we purchased another whole gallon of the rogue color. I HATE to admit it, but I think I need Ty Pennington, minus whatever crack he is on. On second thought, I think I want the crack.

2. SD looked like a bizarre amalgam of Rambo and Robocop wrapped in ace bandages and ice last night after his soccer game. He played twice this week, so the HURT is on.

3. Yesterday as I was preparing supper, I found a toddler-sized t-shirt in our freezer next to the chicken nuggets.

4. Today, I met up with the SAME Crazy Vegan Lady (CVL) I saw in Marshall's about a month ago...in Marshall's AGAIN, and she told me the SAME story about how she breastfed her kids 'till they were 18. Well, not really, but stay tuned...more on this later, because it's oh-SO-worth elaborating on.

5. Yesterday, my genius younger sister (sorry, I'm too lazy to link her photo) sent me her latest Photoshop creations:

Personally, I think I look HOT in the second one, which makes up for the black eye in the first. And who needs Pitt when you've got SD. Hubba, hubba.